We often use words like “challenging,” “stressful,” and “difficult” when we talk about caring for an older loved one. Those words certainly can describe caregiving, but they’re only part of the picture. Being a caregiver offers gifts too, and it’s important to remember those gifts when we’re feeling unbalanced by the challenges.
Love. Most of us care for our elder relatives, partners, or friends out of love. There may be other factors too, but the bottom line is that we make the loving choice to be there for someone who needs us. That love helps us grow into the best person we can be.
Pride. As caregivers, we stretch ourselves in all sorts of ways and often further than we realized we could. Whether it’s learning about a loved one’s condition, providing hands-on care, or looking for resources, aren’t we proud of ourselves for doing it?
Patience. It takes a lot of patience to slow down to the speed of a frail older person, to answer a question for the umpteenth time, or to help with the same tasks day in and day out. That patience serves us throughout our lives.
Perseverance. We’ve been caring for a loved one for months or years. Did we know we had that kind of stick-to- it-ness? If we apply that determination to something else, just imagine what we can accomplish.
Healing. Caring for another person may allow us to know them—and them to know us—is a new and deeper way. For some, that can bring healing of a difficult relationship, or at least forgiveness.
Satisfaction. We can feel the satisfaction of doing our best to help our loved one be as safe, happy, and healthy as possible. When our caregiving is over, we’ll know that we did what we could (in spite of those challenges, stresses, and difficulties), and that’s a lot.
~ Emily Cooper is Information and Referral Specialist for Caregiver Programs with Boulder County Area Agency on Aging, a Division of Community Services. For more information on BCAAA caregiver services, call 303-678-6116 or visit Boulder County Area Agency on Aging online.