Every caregiving situation is unique, but in general they share 4 stages, each with special things to do.
Stage 1: The Anticipatory Caregiver – You’re concerned that your aging loved one will soon need more of your assistance. First (and throughout your caregiving), ask for the elder’s input: what are his concerns and wishes? Determine his financial situation, and perhaps consult an attorney familiar with elder and long-term care issues. Investigate community care options and start working on a care plan with family, friends, and others. Consider best and worst case scenarios and how to deal with either.
Stage 2: The Freshman Caregiver – You’ve been caring for an elder for a short time, helping with errand running, bill paying, or even hands-on care. Learn about her illness or condition, and find out how to provide appropriate care from health care professionals or other resources. Look into local respite options, and start planning for—and taking—regular breaks, or “respite.” Join a support group. Rely on help from family and friends, as well as from community organizations.
Stage 3: The Entrenched Caregiver – Your involvement is almost daily, if not constant. The elder may live with you, or your day is structured around his needs. You’re getting tired, and you’re wondering how long you can keep this up. Determine your limits—it’s okay to have them. Continue regular breaks, rely on your support system and co-caregivers, and keep learning about the elder’s illness.
Stage 4: The Former Caregiver – You recently lost your loved one. Allow yourself to mourn, perhaps with a grief support group or counselor. Remember your care recipient, and reflect back on your caregiving with pride. And consider sharing with others—there are many new caregivers who can learn from your experience.
~ Emily Cooper is Information and Referral Specialist for Caregiver Programs with Boulder County Area Agency on Aging, a Division of Community Services. For more information on BCAAA caregiver services, call 303-678-6116 or email InfoCaregiver@bouldercounty.org/.