by Emily Cooper
It’s traditional to make resolutions this time of year, and there are a few that make sense for family caregivers of older adults.
Choose to be positive. Caring for an ill or dying person is difficult, but we don’t have to consider it a burden. Neither is it realistic to pretend it’s a piece of cake. Somewhere between the two is the acknowledgement that caregiving is tough work, but that we consciously choose to do it. By making that choice and accepting our caregiving role, we may find hidden rewards that we’d otherwise miss.
Look at your strengths and limitations realistically. Each of us is good at some things and not so good at others. Perhaps you can help your elderly mother with bathing and other personal care that would make your sister uncomfortable.
Your sister, however, is good with financial matters that you’d rather not deal with. Set boundaries for what you can and can’t do, and then find help—family, friends, or professionals—who can fill in. You don’t have to do it all.
Accept help—really! Try this: in the coming month, every time someone makes an offer of help, accept it and tell them specifically what would be helpful. Likewise, if a friend suggests getting together, say “Yes,” and make a date.
Be proactive. When faced with your situation, you can be either proactive or reactive—which means mostly operating in crisis mode. Look ahead and plan, research your loved one’s condition, and communicate clearly and assertively with healthcare providers. It can make you feel more in charge of what happens to you and your loved one.
Appreciate yourself. Don’t forget to look back over the last year and congratulate yourself for the wonderful job you did on your loved one’s behalf.
You’re amazing!
~ Emily Cooper is Information and Referral Specialist for Caregiver Programs with Boulder County Area Agency on Aging, a Division of Community Services. For more information on BCAAA caregiver services, call 303-678-6116 or email InfoCaregiver@bouldercounty.org/.