If you’re an older adult who’s just ventured into online dating, the prospect of romantic companionship can be exciting. But when it comes to using dating apps and sites, it’s important to act with caution. Otherwise, you just might get tangled up with the wrong person and find yourself the victim of a sweetheart scam. A sweetheart scam is when a person uses fake profiles on dating sites to engage victims, stir up romantic feelings, and ask for money. Sweetheart scams may also be referred to as online dating scams, confidence scams, romance scams, or catfishing. Seniors are a common target for sweetheart scammers since they have more cash savings and a tendency to be trusting. Adults 60 and older also tend to be less informed about online scams in general.
Senior Couple
According to new data from the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), reported losses related to sweetheart scams reached a record $304 million in 2020—a 50% increase from 2019. People ages 40 to 69 were the most likely to report getting swindled by sweetheart scams. Those age 70 and older reported the highest median losses at $9,500.
Online dating scams may start out innocently with a random match on a dating app or an unexpected friend request on Facebook. The man or woman reaching out may seem kind, attentive, and genuinely interested in you. Their profile may be plastered with images of an attractive, well-dressed person. “Scammers target older adults to take advantage of their polite and trusting nature, as well as their typically stable financial situation. The best defense against these attacks is the ability to recognize them and end contact with the scammer,” said Emma McGowan, a privacy and security expert at Avast.
The intensity of this relationship may make you feel confused, excited, and euphoric all at once. Eventually, you may think you’re in love with this person. Once they sense you’ve fallen for them, they start to ask you for money for various reasons. You begin to send them cash and gift cards, completely unaware that this person you trust is not who they say they are.
Here’s how to protect yourself: 1) If a situation feels fishy, run it by someone you trust to get their honest opinion, 2) Be wary of strangers reaching out on social media, 3) Google potential dating partners. It’s not being paranoid—it’s being smart. 4) Never give out your personal information, 5) Do not send intimate photos—especially with your face showing. sweetheart scammers could use these later to blackmail you, 6) If you like someone, ask for a quick phone or video chat. If they refuse or make up outlandish excuses, that’s a red flag, 7) If you’re interested in someone on a dating app, ask to meet up with that person. Always meet in a public place until you’re feeling comfortable.
First, there’s no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed. These criminals are clever, and any of us could fall prey to their trickery. Here’s what to do if you believe you’ve been conned: 1) File a report with the online dating app or social media website where the scammer first contacted you, 2) File a report with the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), 3) Report the fraud to the FTC, 4) Notify your financial institutions that you may have been scammed, 5) Change all your passwords immediately, & 6) Block the scammer immediately on all forms of communication: messaging apps, phone, text, and social media.
While reporting the scam can feel scary, sharing what happened to you can prevent it from happening to someone else.
Article courtesy of National Council on Aging.