A grandmother watched her newborn grandson as her daughter made the transition back to work. One day, the daughter found that her mom had put him to sleep on his belly (not on his back, which is the standard safety practice now for babies and has led to a reduction in Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) over time).
One of the most common forms of child care is by grandparents. The most recent data show that grandparents in the U.S. care for almost one out of four children under age five on a regular basis. Additional research shows today’s grandparents provide time and money to their children and grandchildren to tune of $253 billion each year.
Grandparents feel relaxed and secure in their ability to care for their young grandchildren. Unlike new parents who are struggling to figure out the “best” approaches (pacifier or no pacifier? cloth diapers or disposable?), grandparents have the perspective that comes with seeing their own children grow up well.
Grandparents explain how they feel torn at times with balancing their role as parent and grandparent. Grandparents told us that discussing these differences with their children was not easy. Often, they felt as through a lifetime of caregiving experience was invisible to their adult children. As one grandmother shared: “My son thinks he’s Dr. Spock!”
Grandparents are open to learning from their adult children. One of our focus group participants told us how she learned about the “back to sleep” campaign from her daughter, much like my mom learned from me. Grandparents tell us they are open to learning new techniques that keep their favorite little ones safe.
Rebecca Parlakian is a writer for National Council on Aging and the Senior Director of Programs for Zero To Three, a national nonprofit focused on healthy child development.